February 14, 2008 | Family, Heroism, Politics, Religion

Osama bin Laden — Modesty, Family, Faith

by Sheik al-Muuram Krekar

We all know about alcohol abuse, and how it destroys families and social gatherings. Then why shouldn't we have a President who stays sober? Osama bin Laden is a modest man, and he does not drink alcohol. He says:

"Alcohol clouds the mind, and makes wisdom less apparent. I refrain from alcohol so I can speak with God and make sensible decisions, instead of worshipping my own pittyness in the misery of drunkenness."

Osama is both modest and generous. He often gives his guests whole lambs to feast upon, only eating the scraps himself, despite his wealth. He is a man of great faith. He describes himself as a "Moslem," Arabic for "one who surrenders to God." Osama says:

"God does not condone greed. Why should I feast upon whole lambs, when God has more important tasks for me? I am not important, only my spirit is. And my spirit is in God."

But faith is not the only side to Osama's life. Osama is also a caring father of 18 children. They have gotten good educations and are the up-and-coming stars of tomorrow. When not attending to the cause, say praying, Osama likes to take long walks with his children, enjoying the vast landscape around them. He is also a caring grandfather, telling them about old Arabic tales, packed with wisdom from which future generations might learn.

Vote Osama '08 — a man who can preserve the American ideals of modesty, family, and faith.

February 14, 2008 | Family, Philosophy, Politics, Religion

Osama bin Laden — New Ideas

by Sheik al-Muuram Krekar

Osama is a man of change, yet he seeks to preserve family, tradition, and religious values. He wants to stop the collapse of society, putting the individual into context. He visions setting the family forth as the basis of society. He seeks to put the legal system where it belongs: in local communities. And he wants to abolish the Federal Reserve and re-create the gold standard. He says:

"I realized "more of the old medicine" was in fact "more of the old poison." To create true change, one needs to change the way one is thinking. Say, technology is good, but is it all good if it is used to defy God (abortion, stem cells) or enslave men?

As a believer in God, I believe the Federal Reserve is immoral. It serves greed, and its FIAT currency is nothing but air. I seek to re-create the currency of God, which is gold."

Vote Osama in '08 — together we can make the best of both future and past.